What does it feel like to be betrayed by your spouse

It feels like the air being squeezed out of your lungs. It feels like a kick to the gut. It feels like your heart shattered. It feels like everything around you is spinning. It feels like no one in your life is safe. That everyone will betray you. It feels like you’ve lost your best friend and the love of your life. It feels like darkness is trying to swallow you. It feels like evil is winning. It feels like everything you ever believed is a lie. It feels like nothing will ever be right again. It feels like hope is far away. It feels like you are all alone. It feels like promises will never mean anything again. It feels like trust can’t be rebuilt. It feels like forgiveness is foolish. It feels like you will never be enough. It feels like you are to blame. It feels like you were a fool to trust. It feels like you were dumb for not seeing the red flags before. It feels like you can’t tell the difference between real and pretend. It feels like you can’t trust your gut. It feels like you’re crazy. It feels like the rest of the world goes on while you sit curled in a ball. It feels like your emotions are on a rollercoaster ride. It feels like you can’t tell anyone for fear of being judged. It feels like everything is a lie. It feels lonely. It feels dark. It feels hard. It feels endless. It feels like your heart will never be whole again. It feels like the storm will never stop. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It feels like it’s not the end, It feels like this could be the beginning of a real authentic relationship without lies and secrets. It feels like maybe he is just now learning boundaries and love for himself. It feels like growth is happening. It feels like he knows how badly he hurt me. It feels like I will be ok, regardless of whether we are ok. It feels like I am stronger than I thought I was. It feels like God has never left me and is revealing himself to me in new ways. It feels like truth will come into the light. It feels like chains of addiction will break. It feels like my heart can heal. It feels like this storm will pass. It feels like I’m not alone. I have met some amazing ladies that I can be authentic with and who know exactly how I feel. It feels like hope is rising. It feels like I can trust myself. It feels like healthy boundaries are healing my heart and helping me to really get to know myself. It feels like I am worthy of respect. It feels like it is more than ok to expect healthy love. It feels like this is not the end. It feels like we might be smack dab in the messy middle, but it also feels like we are on a journey to complete and lasting healing. JW